Reality seems grim for Misophones.
There is so little known about this disorder, no cure or official treatment. It is debilitating in several aspects of life, and is difficult, embarrassing, and downright shameful to explain. Hardly anyone around us, understands us, and most of us don’t even, truly, understand ourselves. Too many of us are suffering silently, and far to many of us that speak up, are stigmatized, and all of us are left to fend for ourselves, against ourselves, with little answers. Something has got to change.
At first, it sounds so simple, even trivial. A disorder where you “hate” certain stimuli? Just avoid it, or get over it… right? Unfortunately, it is not that easy, no matter how desperately sufferers hope and prey for it to be. A lot of triggers are daily, common occurrences, that, in being human, we all experience, naturally. Normal people process these as background information, but is not possible for victims of this neurological disorder to tune it out, or ignore it. So much so, that they actually feel as though they are under attack by it, no matter how much they try to rationalize themselves, or think about something else. As long as they are exposed to a repeating trigger, they go into, what feels like, a state of physical and mental shock. It is referred to as a “trigger,” because, within the millisecond the stimuli reaches our sensory receptors, be it visual, audial, or tactile, and even olfactory, a gun is shot throughout our entire mind and body, before our conscious mind has a say in the matter. The brain goes into high alert mode, whatever we were thinking about is wiped clean, no matter how important. The body goes into a state of panic; The heartbeat quickens, blood rushes, and it even feels like a tiny burst of adrenaline. To up the impact, it gradually gets worse, the longer we are exposed to the trigger, to the point where it can get completely overwhelming. When sufferers are removed from a trigger, and the rational mind takes back over, we are left confused, angry, and filled with shame. We actually have to expend energy and consciousness, and time, to calm ourselves down and focus back to reality. There is no scientific explanation for our experience. Misophonia literally drives us a million different forms of bonkers, and the lack of support and understanding doesn’t help. It is assumed that somehow we should have the means to prevent it, or fix ourselves, but that’s what drives us so insane; We can’t.
Misophones are wrongfully perceived to be angry and crazy.
This disorder, in its core, does not trigger aggression, but when sufferers are left to fend for themselves, mentally, ill-equipped, and over exposed, to all of the triggering stimuli in the world. This can cause them to feel trapped or cornered, and animal instinct takes over. That is not who we are, that is a product of our disorder. I don’t want to feel inhuman anymore, I may be flawed, but I am not broken. I may be sensitive, but am still strong. I have a neurological disorder that makes me a spaz around people and prefer to be alone. However, I have many other positive qualities, and I am a valuable human being. I will just do my thing, at home, limiting social contact to a minimum, because that is what my body needs, to stay stress free, and not over exhaust.
No one else experiences what Misophones experience. Scientists, and researchers cannot read minds. If we don’t pay attention to, and educate ourselves, and find the words to explain what is happening in our heads, there is no hope for answers, much less a cure. I’m tired of feeling ashamed of myself and battling a war inside my head, by myself, everyday, aren’t you? I am tired of little to no progress being made in respect to this disorder. However, I am just one voice, and one perspective, all Misophones have a piece of the puzzle in figuring out what this is, for ourselves. We do not have to face this alone. Yes, other people have proven that they don’t always understand, but all we need is patience and the right approach. We will have to include the world, if we ever want to make any progress on improving our own lives. We are doing ourselves no favors by being silent, and we only make ourselves look worse by passive aggressively complaining about triggers on social media. So, instead of getting angry, discouraged, or giving into the role of being a victim of the universe, stay connected to the inline community of Misophones, up to date on research, and find ways to help others understand us!
Be an advocate, not a victim. Lets change our reality.