A lot of my friends have had to take leaves of absence from the Misophonia support community. Most of them aren’t leaving because of altercations. Most are leaving because they simply need to take a break. We can become so misocentric that we drown in our own thoughts and ideas. Our disorder weighs atop of us, heavy like water, and holds us down.
That’s why I’m proposing this term. Sometimes we can become misocentric misophones. I have a couple of thoughts on this. It’s not just an obsession with our disorder, it’s a lot deeper.
Some of us have grown so intertwined with misophonia that the miso, or hate, has become the centre point of our days and even our lives. We can become trapped by anxiety. Will there be a trigger? Will they accept me? What if something happens? How dare they not respect me! It goes on and on and on until the only thoughts left pounding at our brains are thoughts of misophonia.
If we let this hatred and reflection control our lives then the good moments are going to wither away like the bad. They will become one and the same. I can’t let myself fall into this trap. Sure, it may be healthful to vent our aggressions but what happens when venting becomes toxic?
Misocentric can also mean that we are spending so much of our time, energy, and resources thinking about Misophonia that we’ve simply forgotten that there are people out there that don’t understand. They do not have the disorder. They do not understand how you think or how you feel. If we fall into this trap how will we be able to have a nuanced conversation that explains our point of view?
We must always remember that we are more than our disorders. We have good days and we have bad. Yes, we have challenges, but who doesn’t? If we spend all of our time thinking about what’s wrong with us we forget to enjoy what is right. Instead of being misocentric misophones we must make sure that we are creating a world in which we can live in. While researchers are doing their best to find answers we must take charge of our lives. Our peace of mind is something that we must fight for every day.