What if Misophonia were a seizure?
I sit down for dinner with my family. We’re eating. It’s a calm and nice family function. We haven’t been able to have a lot of them due to my disorder. My neurological disorder makes it hard for me to sit at the kitchen table, to function…
I often clench my eyes when I’m forced to sit in the harsh lighting. My mother looks at me and she tsks. “Jenna, stop being so rude.” Her eyes peer through me. They scream ‘behave’. I don’t know how to get past this. I don’t know if I can.
I nod and swallow a bite of food, the growing sensation of the light getting to me. My vision speckles. I clench my jaw.
My father eyes me, and then he eyes our “guests”. A work friend is over – and he doesn’t want me to make a scene. I clench my eyes further. My palms begin to sweat. I begin jerking violently – and my family, unhappy with the reaction rolls their eyes.
“This again? Seriously?”
I am forced to pick up the pieces alone. When it stops, I am still shaky. But, I am the problem. My reaction, not the environment.
This is what you’re telling a person with Misophonia when you don’t believe them. Every time you question their triggers, their behaviours. When you say they are “overly sensitive” or “faking it”. You are perpetuating an idea that something neurological, real, and part of their body, is not real.
Why would anybody want to fake something so life-altering?