Home Coping
Category:

Coping

Coping

Moving In Together With Misophonia

written by Shaylynn H.

I was pretty concerned about moving in with my boyfriend. Give up my alone space? All of it? Give up having constant wind down time? After two years of dating it was finally time to pull the cord and jump into the fire. Misophonia is the third-wheel in our relationship. The constant roommate that you didn’t want, but tags along anyways. Misophonia is basically the real-world equivalent of You, Me and Dupree.

So far, I’m okay. Except there are a lot more lawnmowers here and that’s really been killing my buzz. I’m not saying don’t move because there’ll be sounds. There are sounds everywhere, and I’m being entirely honest and candid with you about my experiences. You’re probably wondering how to deal with moving in together?

Compromise. About everything. That means communicate.
Figuring out how to live together is about conflict-resolution. The time to discuss a trigger isn’t while you’re already so upset that you’re ready to scream (yeah, been there). The time is before it happens. Set limitations and boundaries. You also need to realize that it’s not just about you. Your partner has to live too.

I’m not going to lie, this process hasn’t been easy. There are still some hiccups. I have trouble sleeping in the same bed, and spend a lot of time sleeping in my office. Whenever we watch TV, there’s some contention about visual triggers (certain hand placements and movements trigger me). The dryer running is another trigger. It’s exhausting to think about all of the time, but it’s the hand we’ve been dealt so we keep trucking along.

I can’t tell you that everything is going to be okay. Some days there’s griping and fights. Other days are wonderful. Like everything else in life there are ups and downs, but I think it’s worth it to keep going and to keep trying.

I think it’s very important to learn your partner’s limit and learn when to walk away and go take a nap.

June 28, 2020 0 comment
0 Facebook Twitter Google + Pinterest
Quarantine and Misophonia: Tips to Cope
CopingHelpful Info

Quarantine and Misophonia: Tips to Cope

written by Sharon

Covid-19. News about this is literally everywhere and how it affects people’s lives. What I haven’t seen is how those with misophonia cope during the quarantine during these uncertain times. Some may be trapped with family who trigger them. Whether or not they understand doesn’t matter, because you’re still triggered, and maybe now it’s full time. Maybe the sound of the lawn mower is triggering you, or the footsteps of the upstairs apartment dweller, or the constant barking dog from the neighbors. If you experience these and don’t know what to do because you’re feeling overwhelmed, you’re not alone.

The stay at home mandate for my town went into affect about the second week of March, 2020. All my plans, in the now and for the foreseeable future, were put on hold. Non-essential businesses closed. Parks were closed. Grocery stores remained open. Popular ones were packed as people began to hoard things. Some stores upped the prices on cleaning supplies. Masks and gloves are a regular sight. Social distancing and reducing travel were required. You know all of this, and I’m sure it’s increased many people’s anxiety and depression.

If you’re stuck at home right now and are experiencing more trigger sounds than usual, I encourage you to take advantage of daily walks. Charge your phone, put your earbuds in, and just take a walk around town. Parks have reopened in my town with specific guidelines to follow, so check to see if any parks in your area have done the same. And of course, practice social distancing. If wearing a mask doesn’t make it difficult to breathe, wear one on your walk. Walking will a) allow you some exercise, b) get you away from whatever triggers are happening, and c) calm you down. Only do this if your area allows it.

Another tip is to find a safe space in your home and just retreat there for a little while. Put on a movie or TV show, or your favorite song through your headphones, and just breathe. Your safe space is where no one can interrupt you while taking some time to relax and calm down. Make this clear to those you live with if you have to.

Relieve some stress by taking on a new hobby or learning a new skill. This has been one of the many recommendations I keep seeing while stuck at home. Even if you don’t actually take on something right away, learn the basics of something that interests you. In my case, even before quarantine, I took up knitting. I made some special gifts for people and have one other knitting project to complete. I watched a lot of videos and read a lot of stuff regarding knitting, different techniques, and the right tools to use. This can occupy your mind with something other than whatever is triggering you, and help with coming down from feeling intense rage. If videos trigger you, don’t watch with the volume. Most YouTube videos have auto generated subtitles that are usually 90% accurate. At least, in my experience. Same with movies. Netflix has the subtitle option, as well as Amazon Prime Video.

Speaking of learning new things, for awhile, Shaw Academy has been promoting free content for people. You can take courses there that you normally have to pay for. I’m not sure how long it’s going to go on for, but it’s worth checking out.

If you are getting triggered at night by nature sounds–or people doing things outside or in the upstairs apartment–and trying to fall asleep, try wearing earplugs. They drown out a lot of sound and may aid in helping you sleep. You can also consider sleeping headphones, which is essentially earphones made to wear to bed while you play something that helps you fall asleep. You can check out a list of products here.

I hope some of these were helpful. Leave a comment if you have something that helps you!

May 28, 2020 0 comment
0 Facebook Twitter Google + Pinterest
How to Survive Not Being Able to Zoom with Your Family During the Coronavirus
Coping

How to Survive Not Being Able to Zoom with Your Family During the Coronavirus

written by Guest Writer

By Lauri L.

My family is having a Zoom chat tonight. It will be one of four weekly since the Coronavirus breakout. I haven’t been able to participate due to mouth sounds and visual triggers. My entire family clears their throats constantly. I’s hard because especially at this time, I really want to have that connection. My family for the most part have been understanding. Although family member told me that there is more to life than Misophonia. They also said that I am being selfish and entitled.

I’m isolating alone. I have no one to physically ask questions, bounce things off, laugh with, listen to music with, cry with, share emotions with, watch a movie with, etc. I also have been furloughed from my job.

The solution that I came up with is to email my family weekly to be included in the Zoom. I share bullet points on what’s been happening in my life while quarantined. Tonight is the first night I am trying this. You see my family is spread out. My dad and older sister are in Oregon, my older brother and his son are in northern Minnesota, and my younger sister and her wife are in Canada. I’m in Minneapolis. I’ll give you all an update after tonight’s Zoom chat.

UPDATE: Eveyone got back to me via email except for my older sister. They were for the most part supportive. I think this is what I’ll do for future Zooms. It seemed to work out.

Questions and Answers

  • How meaningful is family time to you?
    Family time has never been that important to me. My younger sister and I are the closest. My parents were quite toxic. I do love my family, but time with them is not
  • Do you find Misophonia is making it hard to have valuable time with your family?
    My entire family clears their throats like horses and that is the main reason that I am not able to Zoom with them.
  • What do you suggest people could do instead of calls? Perhaps online virtual games via chats?
    I suggest emailing. There’s a very low chance of being visually triggered, and zero chance of being triggered audibly. I’ve always despised talking on the phone my entire life because of mouth sounds, humming, and
  • Who came up with the voice chat idea? Did you consider asking them to do something else? Like a “Netflix party”? This is when everybody is in a chatroom and watches a show together online. My dad came up with the idea. He is continually pushing me to participate in the calls despite my telling him why I can’t. I’m not going to put myself in that triggering
  • What advice do you have for others with Misophonia?
    My advice is to find things in life that make you happy. For me it is my drum lessons, meditation, live concerts, and online friendships with only text and no video. I also see a therapist every other week. She specializes in coping mechanisms for Misophonia. I really look forward to our sessions, and always feel great after them. She validates me often.
  • How can families stay close when far apart?
    As I said,my family is very spread out. My dad, his wife, and my older sister live in Oregon. My brother and his son are in northern Minnesota, and my sister and her wife are in Canada. I am in Minneapolis I go to a lot of live concerts with my younger sister. They are where I’m at my best because I can’t hear my trigger sounds for the most part. Staying in touch with the rest of my family is important, yet not essential to my well being. I think that the Coronavirus has brought us as close as we have been in quite some time.
    I find that to be kind of sad. My family says that they “get” Misophonia , but living with it, I believe is really the only way to actually “get it”. I’ll never forget when I saw my dad for the first time in 3 years, and when he saw me with headphones on, the first thing he did was mock me by mouthing silent words very fast. That’s tough to absorb.
May 17, 2020 0 comment
0 Facebook Twitter Google + Pinterest
Free 1 Hour Video: How To Cope With Misophonia While Stuck at Home
CopingVideos

Free 1 Hour Video: How To Cope With Misophonia While Stuck at Home

written by Managing Editor

Due to WHO guidelines for people to stay home, we are doing a free workshop on Misophonia and coping when stuck at home. We understand that people with misophonia have extra considerations, and might be extra-anxious because they are now forced to be in close-quarters with their family, potentially unable to avoid triggers. This workshop was originally live through Zoom and is available for free indefinitely.

March 25, 2020 0 comment
0 Facebook Twitter Google + Pinterest
How To Survive Flying on an Airplane with Misophonia
Coping

How To Survive Flying on an Airplane with Misophonia

written by Shaylynn H.

My greatest fear with Misophonia used to be airports and flying. It doesn’t help that my anxiety was trying to get involved too. It was telling me that flying was going to be absolutely horrible. Since my stress levels are already crazy when going through the airport (security terrifies me), I was pretty sure that misophonia-wise I would break!

1. In the airport I realized that I don’t HAVE to stay in one spot

So long as you’re close enough to your gate that you hear boarding announcements you don’t have to stay seated. I can’t stand sitting situations because of leg movements – so I just don’t get into them! You can sit in corners, find a quiet restaurant, or if you’re a member of a certain Credit Card or Club you can sometimes get access to exclusive lounges. I’ve even just hid in a corner before…

2. Be prepared for noises

Headphones should always be charged. If you know you’ll be losing internet (such as on the plane) or insane international roaming fees, make sure you have songs downloaded to your phone or a trust old media player (like an iPod). I suggest having a back-up just in case, and have access to your charging cords. Wireless headphones are great (here are some suggestions). Have extra earplugs too. I like to already be wearing them when I get into a situation.

3. On the airplane, try to control where you sit

Many airlines have “preferred seating” where you can pay to choose a special seat which has extra leg-room, etc. Also, sometimes you can pick your seat on the plane for free. Personally, I always need to be by a window to lean against it and not feel trapped. First Class is a great option if you’re able to afford it because it provides a more comfortable environment (and usually has less seats cramped together). Of course, not everybody can afford this, so consider the preferred seating and free seat choices on booking if available.

4. Prepare to zone out

Headphones. Earplugs. A sleeping mask. A nice travel pillow. Depending on the length of your flight, it’s probably easier to take a nap and avoid the worst part of the stress (being trapped in an environment). As a bonus, falling asleep can reset your sensory system. If you’re worried about valuables, consider checking important items in your luggage (however, I’ve never had something stolen on a plane since it’s pretty obvious to steal from the person next to you).

5. Remember that airports/airplanes are STRESSFUL for EVERYONE

You can do this. You can get through it. It’s so worth it to travel, and remember, you’re not the only one who’s stressed! When in doubt, ask a flight attendant or airport staff for help and suggestions. If you explain your sound sensitivity, chances are the staff will do their best to accommodate.

Best of luck flying!

January 13, 2020 0 comment
0 Facebook Twitter Google + Pinterest
Newer Posts
Older Posts