Category:

Coping

Misophonia and Depression

While the research may not be caught up enough to say definitively that Misophonia causes depression, I believe for many of us, depression has become a part of our lives. Isolation, sadness, and loss of interest in activities all go hand in hand with misophonia. It can be a hard disorder to live with, and some of us take out of this a very bleak meaning. I do think that there is hope. Coping skills and research can offer viable remedies for misophonia, but we should also consider out mental health. If you believe that misophonia has caused depression (or heightened feelings of depression you already had) you should talk to a psychiatrist or psychologist. Even though counsellors cannot fix misophonia, these professionals are trained to help you manage your depression and help you live a fulfilling life.

I first started battling depression before I had even heard of the word misophonia. I have been fighting that fight for 14 years, and I’ve learned a few things along the way. I’ve learned that there is a degree of grief and loss that comes with depression. You must accept the depression, and learn to move on from it. A huge part of this process is asking for help and allowing professionals and those that love you to be welcome in your life. This can be a hard step but it’s important. Misophonia may not be the complete cause of depression, but it can certainly contribute to the illness. The following is advice that I wish somebody had told me when I first learned I had depression at 12 years old.

It’s absolutely okay to not be okay.
You can get through this.
Even though today is horrible – that doesn’t mean tomorrow will be too.
People want to help you. Be honest.
Being depressed doesn’t make you weird. It makes you human.
If somebody doesn’t believe you’re depressed – that’s their problem. Your feelings are legitimate.
There’s no magic pill – but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try and help yourself.
Some days are better than others.
There’s nothing wrong with staying in bed.
There’s nothing shameful in crying.
Try to do something you love every day – even if you’re not interested anymore. You’ll be surprised when the good moments “peer through the curtain”.
Go outside. Even if you have to wear headphones. Breathe in fresh air.
Take care of yourself. Take a shower. Eat.

If you are clinically depressed, or suicidal, please call a hotline or immediately tell a relative. Your life is important. You matter.

April 10, 2018 0 comment

Coping

Drowning In Sound

written by Shaylynn H.

I have a lesser-known brain condition that has made my life more challenging than I ever could have imagined. I no longer attend family functions. When I do, I am forced to hide in a corner with minimal socializing. At my graduation, two years before my grandmother died, I was forced to miss out on valuable memories with her. I hid in my room while my family celebrated my accomplishments. Easters, Christmases, and other holidays have simply become dreaded occurrences. If I do go home I am bombarded by stimuli. My mother shakes her leg, my father taps his fingers whilst driving… the list is never-ending. The response each time is the same ― I flinch. I panic. I feel the overwhelming all-consuming anxiety, discomfort, and then pain. I cannot remain when there is a “trigger.” There is no way to avoid the reaction, and the only way to stop the feeling is to remove myself.

Misophonia, the aversive (fight/flight/freeze) reaction to otherwise normal visual/audial stimuli has defined and shaped my life.

I have heard from people in the community, in the past, that they are contemplating Misophonia’s heavy weight on their lives. Some have approached me and said, “I’d be better off dead,” others simply wish to be deaf. This is unfortunate. This is terrifying. However, we need to realize that our disorders are not entirely to blame for our mental states. Many have approached me with fear — especially parents. They ask, with good reason, “Are my kids going to be okay? How can I help them?” Of course the answers aren’t always blatant. Misophonia remains cureless, but it is not without hope.

An article published attributes the suicide of a New York historian to her Misophonia. (http://nypost.com/2016/11/16/every-day-noises-drove-this-historian-to-suicide/) The author mentions that she knows the subject had Misophonia due to her own relationship with the woman. I wonder, and I fear, how this is going to be perceived in the media. Since the publishing of this article there have be two more pieces (one on yahoo, the other the daily mail) that have already led to sensationalization of this issue. Once again, we are brought the attention of the public as memes — we are something to laugh off, not take seriously, or considered twisted.
Suicide is largely draped in stigma. Various mental health organizations, support groups, and medical communities spend every day trying to combat this stigma. I will always advocate for suicide awareness and prevention, but I wonder — who is this article really helping?

Conversations about a disorder are important to further awareness, generate support, and help advocate research. This cannot be done if we are fighting the general public, research community, and within our borders. Bringing up suicide — aside from the sadness, unfortunate nature of mental health, is going to change the conversation from one of hope and further polarize persons looking for help. Statements like “no cure”, “sound rage”, and “chewing rage” make us feel abnormal, isolated, and without hope. We want the general public to understand that we are struggling. We cannot merely become wilting flowers that accept a fate of bleakness. While this woman’s journey ended in the worst of ways, it is not the only story to be told. There are many misophonia sufferers that have families, friends, travel, and enjoy life to great extents. Any disorder can become so severe in one person that it leads to suicide or other mental health crises. Instead of speaking heavily of suicide in cancer patients, most advocates opt for an approach that furthers the entire cause, and in turn will lead to fewer cancer cases that feel hopeless.

Misophonia has yet to be classified but it appears to be based in the amygdala. It is most-likely physiological and neurological. It is important, when discussing sensitive topics such as suicide, that we understand the hefty weight and difference between mental illness and physiological. While they are all in the brain, we cannot portray that if she had just, “sought out therapy” everything would have been okay. There are many unanswered questions, as there often are with Misophonia. If a cure arrived the day before, would she chosen to stay? Or, was her emotional past too heavy. There are no guarantees. Instead of speculating, sensationalizing, or using one woman’s tragedy we need to move forward and promote research. We need to fight stigma for all brain disorders, and understand that we all have different brains.

April 5, 2018 0 comment

Coping

Misophonia Isn’t Just Anger, It’s Devastation

written by Shaylynn H.

Day in and day out I hear people talk about misophonia being a rage disorder. Sure, when we’re overwhelmed we can become angry – but like a toddler having a tantrum (with no reprieve or means to fix the situation), anger is merely just one of the numerous symptoms. More often than not, misophonia can cause sheer devastation. It’s not easy feeling like we’re always the bad guy, and it’s certainly not easy feeling like the world is attacking us.

Misophonia is hard on relationships. It’s hard on social outings (if you even bother anymore) and it can make everyday situations like work, school, or even going to the supermarket unbearable. There are few spaces that are truly safe for misophonia sufferers. For me, I have become nocturnal and forego most social events. I rarely attend family dinners. I don’t go to restaurants. I’m scared to make new friends or even date because ‘the conversation’ is going to come up. Even as an advocate for this disorder, I often feel trapped and confined within its walls. The truth is – misophonia is far more than just “sounds” and rage”.

There are few aspects of my life (aka none) that misophonia has not touched. I had to switch from a brick and mortar university to online because of it. I can’t even play the exercise game on my Xbox Kinect without the sound off because there is whistling and cheering. I ended up crying in tears (moments before writing this hate-fuelled article) because, guess what? Whistling on television. I also have visual triggers – some of those being shortened words “u” “r” and double spaces after periods. Online games that I used to love have become impossible because of text speak – some books and readings are too hard for me to handle. I also have had to give up games because of whistling, or visual effects. I gave up MMOS (which helped me through heavy periods of depression as a teenager) because the other players were running and jumping too much, and their spells were triggers.

Many of these things I would be fine to live without on their own. Put together, misophonia is a struggle that takes over our lives and deteriorates the little things. As the severity of the disorder grows, the amount of things we have to give up can become hard to handle. It’s easy to see why people with misophonia can become depressed. For me, I am forced to realize that until there is a treatment (there’s great research going on) my life is going to be different than I imagined. That’s tough. That’s really hard to come to terms with.

Some days I cry. A lot. Some days, I barely make it through. Sometimes I’m completely nocturnal because I don’t know how else I can get by. That’s okay. It’s completely alright to not be alright – but it’s hard. I hope you know that even as I try to act positive as an advocate, I’m here in the trenches with you. I’m struggling too. I’m here crying, pulling at my hair, clawing at my arms with my nails because I am so overwhelmed. I’m having over-responsive tantrums. I’m screaming at people even when I shouldn’t (and apologizing afterwards).

I’m really tired of being the bad guy. I’m tired of being misophonia’s prisoner. But, I’m not sure what else I can do besides advocate. Some days are just going to suck – but, at least I know, and you know now too – we’re not alone in our suffering.

This is why I wrote Full of Sound and Fury: Suffering With Misophonia – I wrote my book because I didn’t want people to be alone. You’re not.

April 1, 2018 0 comment

Coping

Fun Activities For Parents and Kids With Misophonia

written by Vicki Sladowski

Anyone with children can tell you that occupying our little monsters can be a challenge. You need to get creative, be engaging and make it fun. It is so important to build that relationship, but if you suffer from Misophonia, it is safe to assume that many of these activities can be very challenging.

Naturally, some people have more triggers than others, as well as different kinds of triggers. Let’s be honest, most “kid-friendly” places are NOT Misophonia friendly. There are so many activities that I used to be able to participate in that are now unfeasible. For example, a bowling alley, a jump park, even a playground.

Even movie theaters are a challenge, but there are some accommodations available. A few simple rules to follow for going to a movie:

Never see a movie on opening weekend. That is just asking to be triggered by the crowds! Consider going to a movie at an “off time”. Most people do not go to the early morning matinees, which would be prime time for a Misophone.

Many theaters offer assigned seating. This is a wonderful way to see how crowded the theater will be, as well as allow you to sit in the back row. This will enable you to avoid those foot shaking, seat kicking jerks behind you. (not to mention the snackers!)

In the US, movie theaters are required to offer hearing assisted headphones in accordance with the Americans with Disabilities Act. These are a total game changer. Simply ask for a pair of hearing assist headphones at the box office. There is no charge for use of the device, and there is a volume control to adjust to your own comfort level. The movie will stream through them. (Personally, I take some disinfectant wipes prior to use) and often will wear my earplugs with them for added protection. They can tune out those insufferable snackers that seem to check their manners at the box office.

Don’t want to risk it? I cannot say that I blame you, I will only go to the theater is there is a movie that I absolutely want to see and I do not want to wait for the DVD. Why not have a family movie night? With so many choices, cable, Netflix, Amazon, etc. you can enjoy a movie in the comfort of your own home, without the triggers. You can’t beat that!

What are some things you can do at home with your rugrats? Depending on their age(s) there are so many fun activities to enjoy together. If you have younger children, Play-Doh is a wonderful activity. It is quiet, creative and you can literally play for hours, not to mention that the feeling of the Play-Doh in your hands can be very relaxing and therapeutic for most people. (Sadly, it may be a tactile trigger for others). Older children may enjoy making and playing with slime. Let’s face it, are you ever too old for Play-Doh?

Some activities can be designed for children of all ages. For example, coloring is no longer just for “little ones”. There are so many coloring books for all ages including teenagers and adults. Throw in some gel pens or glitter pencils for your older kids and it is actually a lot of fun! I have always found coloring to be a very relaxing activity. I would strongly recommend skipping capped markers, since taking the caps on and off can be a trigger. Crayons, colored pencils, even paints can be used. No one said you have to be an artist to enjoy being creative! Who cares if that picture of a family on the beach looks like your paint exploded all over the canvas! Use your creativity as an outlet for your feelings and emotions. Express yourself! I doubt your child will critique your work, they are just happy to be creating with you!

Arts and crafts can be customized by the age group, as your child grows older, scrapbooking not only helps reminisce but you are using your energy creatively while creating a beautiful memory. Perhaps you can try making your own beauty supplies, lip gloss, bath or shower bombs. (Products you can enjoy later for relaxation time). The possibilities are endless. Most of these activities can be done with things around your house so you are not wasting money.

Let’s not forget about doing puzzles together. A past-time we enjoyed as children have become a thing of the past. Bring it back!

Go unplugged! Video games often have an abundance of audio triggers. Go back to the good old days. Time to dig those board games out of the closet and have a family game night. You may find yourself pleasantly surprised at how much your children enjoy board games

Just because you have Misophonia does not mean that you cannot enjoy spending time with your children. Having Misophonia means finding different and creative ways to make memories. Even if your condition keeps you “locked in” doesn’t mean you should be “locked out” of making memories.

March 28, 2018 0 comment

Coping

Coping With Misophonia Depression

written by Shaylynn H.

I first struggled with depression at age 12. For the most part, I had recovered from depression when I discovered I had misophonia in 2013. I had good days, and I had bad, but my life was starting to get back on track. My life was finally starting to come together, and in my Thought Catalog article I explained that this was like crawling out of one hole to trip into another. As you can imagine, misophonia triggers my depression. Even as I have become secure in other aspects of my life, and finally carved my own path – misophonia still leads to some of my darker moments. Misophonia is hard.

Realizing that some of your social relationships are fractured, and may never fully-recover, because of the bitter pill that is misophonia, is really hard. Living day to day in fear of triggers, feeling trapped and isolated, is really flipping hard. Hell, even complaining about the disorder becomes hard because you worry if you’ll ever be more than your triggers.

Looking toward the future – to trips you’ll never take because there’s no way you’d be able to manage on a plane, looking through travel brochures at all of the plans and goals you used to have – yep, that’s hard too.

Leaving a job that you loved because somebody whistles or clicks their pen – not easy either. Then, you’ll have to explain this to friends and family while they look on – either disinterested, or simply able to help. Yep – it’s all really flipping hard.

I’m sick of complaining about misophonia – and I’m sick of thinking about all of the things that I’ve lost. And yet, the depression still creeps in. The sadness that accompanies my grief at a life I might never have, or at the very least, the life that make more time to get. I have faith that the Memory Reconsolidation Study will render treatment – but until then – what?

But, I don’t want this to be a rant. I want to stand up and I want to take charge and help others feel better. I want to live my life, or whatever remains of one. So, here are my tips for struggling with misophonia depression.

1. Accept that things are different, but don’t give up.

Yes, misophonia is hard. Yes, there are days that are harder than others. You might never go to the movies with friends. You might have to give up restaurants. But, there are things you can do. Find activities that you can enjoy where your triggers aren’t. Take bite-sized pieces. If you were in a wheelchair, you’d simply attend venues that are wheelchair friendly.

2. Accept help for depression.

There may not be a cure for misophonia – but the sense of loss, hopelessness, anxiety and depression that go along with it are treatable. Try to separate the two and treat the symptoms of depression. In doing so, you might become more equip for handling with triggers, and then the depression that follows. It’s not a blanket-cure, but you might be able to find good in the moments where no triggers are present.

3. Try to keep doing the things you love.

Giving up the things I loved has increased my depression. The more time I spend canoeing, painting, watching TV, or gaming. The better I feel. You should also try to socialize when you can.

Do remember that research is happening. We’re not alone. Even if it feels that way. It’s going to be okay.

March 8, 2018 0 comment

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