I was pretty concerned about moving in with my boyfriend. Give up my alone space? All of it? Give up having constant wind down time? After two years of dating it was finally time to pull the cord and jump into the fire. Misophonia is the third-wheel in our relationship. The constant roommate that you didn’t want, but tags along anyways. Misophonia is basically the real-world equivalent of You, Me and Dupree.
So far, I’m okay. Except there are a lot more lawnmowers here and that’s really been killing my buzz. I’m not saying don’t move because there’ll be sounds. There are sounds everywhere, and I’m being entirely honest and candid with you about my experiences. You’re probably wondering how to deal with moving in together?
Compromise. About everything. That means communicate.
Figuring out how to live together is about conflict-resolution. The time to discuss a trigger isn’t while you’re already so upset that you’re ready to scream (yeah, been there). The time is before it happens. Set limitations and boundaries. You also need to realize that it’s not just about you. Your partner has to live too.
I’m not going to lie, this process hasn’t been easy. There are still some hiccups. I have trouble sleeping in the same bed, and spend a lot of time sleeping in my office. Whenever we watch TV, there’s some contention about visual triggers (certain hand placements and movements trigger me). The dryer running is another trigger. It’s exhausting to think about all of the time, but it’s the hand we’ve been dealt so we keep trucking along.
I can’t tell you that everything is going to be okay. Some days there’s griping and fights. Other days are wonderful. Like everything else in life there are ups and downs, but I think it’s worth it to keep going and to keep trying.
I think it’s very important to learn your partner’s limit and learn when to walk away and go take a nap.