I’m sure some of you have tried explaining Misophonia to the non-effected people in your life and it probably took a large amount of explaining.
I don’t explain anymore; not one word of apology. I don’t seek out understanding unless it’s absolutely the last option. Why? Because when I do explain how Misophonia affects me, my audience magically turns into doctors/specialists!
“Tune it out” – I can’t. That’s what makes it a disorder. (Usually followed by an expletive and then their new name – Idiot)
“Walk Away” – I would love to but sometimes that’s not possible especially when I’m dealing with my 5 year old autistic child who is whining and flapping.
“What about Noise Canceling Headphones”? – I tried those and thought they would be great until the noise the headphones made rubbing against my ears made me almost homicidal. I’m still searching for the perfect pair.
When I was younger it was assumed that I was short tempered had low tolerance and was only seeking attention. Growing up with 9 other siblings, all eating at the same table, was definitely taxing. Too many forks scraping and mouths chewing. I always left the table with the strong urge to poke everyone’s eyes out. I was usually yelling or crying.
After a major seizure that resulted in some brain damage, the misophonia became intolerable to the point where I broke my back teeth clenching my jaw and I developed TMJ.
It wasn’t until after that seizure* that I was told I had Misophonia. And here I always thought it was called “Make that sound again and I’ll attack you syndrome”.
The actual diagnosis did help me. I didn’t feel like I was so mentally deficient that I couldn’t even control the way I responded to certain sounds or movements or colors. I finally felt like perhaps there were other people who might understand and who live with this too.
Then a friend told me about Misophonia International.
My response: “Oh my!” “A large community of people who have had similar experiences and can understand”?! Suddenly I wanted to explain Misophonia. Suddenly I wanted to help somehow.
Suddenly I am not alone.
* seizure unrelated to Misophonia