Mind Control

mind control

I used to open my eyes in the morning, hoping and praying that I wouldn’t experience any triggers, or anxiety attacks, that day. Now, I just know to prepare myself. I have to approach the day with strength, optimism and positivity, because if I don’t, I will sink into a dark place. Growing up, when struggling with triggers, my parents would tell me that my problem was all in my head, and that in order to rid myself, I just had to think hard enough, keep a positive mindset, and exercise self control. I believe they were partially right. Although, they were referring to the initial fight/flight/freeze reflex, which is now known to be a physical, neurological disorder, and would be the equivalent of telling someone with a broken arm to just “think” it better. However, I believe they were right, in the sense that, I can control my psychological response afterward, how it affects me, and how quickly I can relax myself. Since there is not a current cure, the only thing that sufferers can do is make sure that we take extremely well care of ourselves, physically and mentally. So that we are sound and strong to be able to handle the hurdles this disorder sets up for us.

de-stress-cloud-boxI wake up at a decent time, do my morning stretches, eat a good breakfast, take my generic Celexa, which improves my mood and ability to be more positive, and drink a glass of water. Although, I approach the day with optimism, I am usually greeted by a trigger, pretty promptly. Awesome. Fight/Flight, Muscles tense, edgy mode, activated. The actual act of getting up shifts the sinus pressure, and can cause drainage and sniffling. I, consciously, try not to be, however, I am instinctually on edge in the morning, anticipating. I don’t want to be, but it’s like my body is protecting itself from being surprised, completely.  I subsequently feel ashamed of myself for it, which subtly lingers for the rest of the day. I have other, visual and tactile triggers, that usually don’t take too much longer to creep into my receptors and work my nerves, first thing in the morning, as well. All I can do, is just work on deep breathing, and trying to stay calm and positive. That’s all I can do.

I exercise, and stretch, regularly, since I experience chronic back and leg pain. I am more conscious of what I eat, and the chemicals that I put on and around my body, and I make sure to engage my brain with positive activities that sharpen it. Also, I try not to let my fear of a trigger prevent me from enjoying the time I spend with loved ones. Humans need social interaction, we cannot exist happily, alone. Although, for Misophones, alone time is healing, so is socializing, and keeping healthy personal relationships. I have found that, by staying connected to others, staying on top of, and taking care of myself, and as a result, fe happier and healthier, it is easier to calm down from a trigger. Staying positive, and healthy, is as close as sufferers can get to controlling this disorder.

Rachel Tew
I am twenty two years old, and have been dealing with this disorder for over a decade in secret. Only around two years ago, did I even realize that I have a legitimate disorder that others experience too. It wasn’t until more recently, that I started vocalizing about my struggles and those around me actually seem to have started to better understand. I have spent the majority of my life being secretive, feeling misunderstood and depressed. Even though now I am now aware of my disorder, and can more accurately approaching dealing with it, it is still a daily struggle. I mostly write my articles in my car, because it is the only place where I feel safe from triggers, and relaxed enough to concentrate.